I have started to write again after a two week break. It has been a challenging couple of years, but I have hope. I refuse to let my illness stop me from accomplishing all that I want to, it just may have to be at a reduced pace. According to many of my friends and family, this will not be a bad thing. Here is one of the pieces that came out. It is about my struggle with Lyme and my Mema's struggle battling Lymphoma.
A work in progress...
In these moments before waking there is a stillness that permeates my senses. It is a sort of meditation when the critic and the sceptic inside my head have no voice, as if they haven't woken yet.
Too long I sit and ponder their moods. Upon waking I know that these old friends will swiftly follow. The change is marked by the increased tension in my mandible.
The possibility of sitting with these two all day, occasionally drives me back to my pillow. The soft inhale, exhale of rest. Burrowing into the soft comfort of dreams.
I dreamt of the cure for all we suffer from, and we danced in meadows without the pain we have known for decades. Your hands held mine and we circled the relief with cackling that carried beyond us.
There was no need to be strong, courageous, just this. Enjoying the sun on our faces and the sweet smell of Wisteria in the air.
But as I woke, you were not there, and I lay in a bed feeling the pressure of this affliction that confines me.
I have to believe that dreams keep us from breaking.